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Hardships


Most of what people see is "the results", not the work. I wanted to briefly talk about some of the struggles I faced getting to where I am today.

The hardest part before starting a project was convincing myself that I could figure it out. I remember freaking out in ~october 2018 before I read my first research paper. This 'fear' of incompetence has been an on-going roadblock. I got over this by setting deadlines and forcing functions. I still use this technique. For example, recently, I've been excited about compliant mechanisms. I just haven't had the "time" to dive into them. But, I signed myself up for a presentation spot at my TKS session next week, which forces me to learn and 'figure it out.' I always surprise myself with what I'm capable of.

When I started learning about Artificial Intelligence, around Feb, I was overwhelmed. 'How could I ever do this!!!!!!!' I quickly learned to get over my feelings of stress and learn instead.

Another downfall I'm continually facing is being afraid to ask for help. Less on the 'technical' side of things, more on my personal life. A few weeks ago, I was feeling less-than myself, and negative thoughts spiralled in my head. Although I benefited from talking to people, It took me a few weeks to even do so.

I've failed in so many ways this year: I've failed at meetings, presentations, conversations, content, projects and relationships. I'm glad I'm failing so hard at a young age. It 10Xs the learning experience and excitement of this journey.

You know what they say: you're either correct, or you'll learn.

I'm bringing this "fail fast" mentality to 2020. I'm going to try, and fail at many things. It's going to be sensational.

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